Stupid things you've heard said about FSJs/Jeeps/Cars in general

[Serious Johnson]

Long ago I was doing a standard rebuild on a Camaro's 327. The thing had maybe 150,000 miles on it -- rings shot, oil pressure low, etc. I was a mechanic at a Chevy dealership then but was doing this one at home to give the guy a better deal and hopefully make a little more than the near minimum wage that the dealership paid me. Still, he seemed to think that I was trying to rob him. He insisted that I re-use the old timing chain saying, "Those last forever". Well they don't, especially the plastic ones, but I couldn't convince him. I just shrugged and put a new one in on my nickel because I wasn't going to put it together like that. Then he stiffed me by taking the car on a test drive and never coming back. That was about when I stopped twiddling wrenches for money.

S.J.

[Curly5759]

That story and your User Name! LOL

When I was a kid in the Sixties I had a VW Bug. Using wheel adapters from J.C. WhipMe I put Chevy wheels & wide tires on it -- typical stupid kid stuff. I was at the gas station and a kid on a bike rode up and said, "Wow -- you put CAR wheels on it!"

Same era, one of my friends had a '67 Pontiac LeMans -- nice car but it had the tepid 326 & 2-speed PowerGlide slushbox. He clamed that it would always be faster than my 327 4-speed '57 Chevy because I had to shift more. He also said that it had higher compression because he torqued the head bolts extra tight.

In 1989 I bought a brandamnew Mazda Miata (still have it). Those were unknown in my neck of North Carolina and the styling was sort of retro British. It had a little vibration and so on the way home from the dealership, with 26 miles on the car, I stopped at my favorite tire store to have the tires trued & re-balanced. The tire guy said, "Cool old car -- did you restore it yourself?" "Why yes, yes I did".

Same Miata: I was at a country grocery store and parked in front where the car was visible from the single cash register. It was a hot summer day and so the top was down, though there were thunderclouds on the horizon. I soon forgot about that because the other shopper in the store was a lovely woman about my age -- red hair, green eyes, no ring. I convinced myself that I caught her glancing at me now and then too. I was ahead of her at checkout, trying to think of something unfoolish to say, when a loud thunderclap shook the window. The elderly lady at the register nodded at my top-down car out front and said, "I hope you can get it up fast". Sound of a suppressed chuckle behind me.

S.J.

[Old Ironsides]

The other thing that electric car owners dont realize is that they are trading the emission point from their tailpipes to the power plant.

[goldhammer]

Want some fun with the kid at the local mcparts house......go in and ask for a flywheel for a Jeep 401. 30 minutes later and most of his hair is on the floor, just tell him, OK, nevermind, give me one for an AMX 401.

[rang-a-stang]

Here's another one that drives me nuts:
Them: I have a jeep too!
Me: Sweet! What do you have?
Them: Oh, its a Wrangler.
Me: Yeah? what year?
Them: It's a 20XX.
Me: Oh cool! is it a stick or an auto?
Them: It's an auto but you can shift it like a manual.

I get this one ALOT. "It's an auto but you can shift it like a manual" or "It's an auto but it has paddle shifters!"

Now I will recognize that with computer controlled shifting, computer controlled engines, and dual clutches/shift solenoids, dry clutch autos, 6+ speeds, automatics are the better/more efficient/faster transmissions on newer cars. Even more so with a Constant variable transmission. but:
A) I ALWAYS prefer driving a stick. Even in stop/go LA traffic I would rather be rowing my gears. I just enjoy driving a stick.
B) I HATE DRIVING CVTs. HATE THEM. I have written cars off my potential buy list purely because they only come in a CVT (Subaru specifically).

With all that said, the reason I think the statements "It's an auto but you can shift it like a manual" or "It's an auto but it has paddle shifters!" are stupid is because with an older auto, you are still pushing that hydraulic pump so you still have the parasitic draw of an auto that used to make a manual transmission better/more efficient/faster and if you are manually shifting a new trans, you are bypassing the better logic of a computer controlled trans. Either way you are taking a step backward. Also, even a TH400/TF727/other 3 speed auto, you can almost always shift from 1 to 2 to 3 with the shifter so they are "an auto but you can shift it like a manual". Also, of the probably 100 different rental cars I have had in the last 5 years or so, I almost always check this: if you put that "manually shifted" auto into 1 and stab the gas, 90% of the cars I drive WILLLL shift into 2 when you hit redline (the other 10% bounce off the rev limiter like a manual would). Or, if you are going over 20MPH, in second, then pull the paddle down to first gear, it will not let you 90-95% of the time.

[Brynjminjones]

rang-a-stang, that bothers me too.
Most of these new autos with the "manual override" won't actually allow you to have manual control.
The autos in my Jeeps (SJ, XJ, ZJ), however, will allow me to put it in whichever stupid gear I want to, no matter how inappropriate or damaging it may be, yet of course that doesn't mean they advertise them as "shifting like a manual".

[airborneartillery]

I was wheeling in Arkansas in my 78 Cherokee this past April, I went to the nearest little store with a gas pump to fuel up. While inside paying, a guy comes up to me and says: Him: Cool looking Scout, I used to have one just like it.
Me: It is a Jeep Cherokee 78 model
Him: Oh, looks like a Scout
Me: Nope, looks like a 70's Jeep Cherokee, it even has badges that say Cherokee
Him: Why do you have such big tires? (swampers 35x15x15)
Me: I like to drive over big rocks
Him: Oh, OK, gotta go
Me: Yep, me too. Hopped in the Cherokee(not a Scout) with the big tires and drove back to the woods where I could find solitude and not answer any more stupid questions.

[Brynjminjones]

I had somebody the other day tell me my Grand Wagoneer was like the car in Ghostbusters.
I've also had people tell me it looks like a hearse.

I really don't see how a green, wood-panelled wagon with lots of chrome looks anything like ECTO-1 or a hearse.

[selkplitt]

When I drove mine to work one day a coworker said if I wanted to sell it he would buy. Pay cash even. Said he had a white one with the fuel injection and 4 speed auto. Of course the education of him soon ensued. But he was too stubborn to listen. Later made the offer to buy it again so I informed him I just raised the stated value on insurance to 16000 and his jaw hit the floor. No more offers to buy. I just don?t understand

[gpcl16]

When I drove mine to work one day a coworker said if I wanted to sell it he would buy. Pay cash even. Said he had a white one with the fuel injection and 4 speed auto.

Well if you count reverse it had 4 speeds.

And the mechanical fuel pump "injects" fuel into the carb.

[rang-a-stang]

I forgot about this thread and just stumbled on it again. Some funny stuff in here! Anyone else have any to add?

[Johnwog]

One time in Wyoming driving in a Safeway parking lot a woman yelled at me about how my "old car" should be sent to the junk yard Because it is "killing my kids".
Made me laugh I yelled back "I like dolphin in my tuna". Not sure why but it made me and my inter-audience laugh.

[TPICherokee]

Someone at a gas station asked what my truck was. I said a Jeep J10. He said yeah, I saw the tailgate but what was it before you modified it? Jeep never made a pickup truck.

[sierrablue]

With my dad's old F100, it's very much a combination of old trucks, has a salvage title. The joke is always when people ask what year it is, "Which part?" Some people look at you like you're insulting their conscience, and one guy was like "you shouldn't trust that thing; when you swap parts it's not legal and is incredibly unsafe."

This was at the gas station; passed him on the side of the road with his engine smoking on the way to town.

[sierrablue]

Also when I got my battery tested at AutoZone they didn't ask what I drove, and asked if I wanted a computer scan too. She was not very happy with me when I said "Sure, if you can find the plug you're welcome to scan it" and proceeded to pop the hood...

When I go ripping through a roundabout they say it looks like the Caddy from Ghostbusters, probably because it's a big wagon with lots of body roll.